My father's shadow

Confronting some harsh truths

A few months ago, I had a morbid realization. Ever since, there’s a date on the calendar that’s been circled in my brain that I’ve been dreading.

The future doesn’t care about my trepidation, however. It happens whether I’m looking forward to it or not.

This week, I’m the same age my father was when he died.

My father died three weeks before his 39th birthday back in September 1996. Crazy as it sounds, I turn 39 in three weeks on Aug. 19.

It’s caused me to do a tremendous amount of self-reflection over the past few weeks. Have I done enough to live up to the standards he set for me growing up?

By the time he was my age, my father was married with three children and owned a home. He had a solid job as an FFA adviser at Oregon Clay High School, a job he took extremely seriously pushing his students to win a variety of state competitions every year and hanging their accomplishments on the walls of his ag shop like the Los Angeles Lakers hang NBA championship banners in the Staples Center.

He also was an accomplished public speaker. He was a member of both the Jaycees and Toastmasters organizations and participated in various public speaking competitions. He even advanced to the nationals one year. My aunt Linda told me he had dreams of becoming a motivational speaker some day.

He was overweight but still active physically, becoming a member of the Toledo Roadrunners Club and participating in summer sand volleyball leagues back home. He was extremely competitive and often injured himself by pulling his hamstring because he couldn’t help but overexert himself whether it was trying to beat out a ground ball in a softball game or trying to win a parents sprinters relay at a track meet.

He was heavily engaged in wetland preservation and wildlife conservation efforts. He worked to restore portions of northwest Ohio’s wetlands through agreements with government agencies. I’m sure he’d be happy to know those efforts have continued well after he’s been gone and several acres of preserved land north of Oak Harbor were recently dedicated in his memory.

To top it all off, he was an easy man to like. He made friends quickly, being named best man for multiple weddings and he was a dedicated family man. He helped his children succeed in whatever sports, hobbies or pursuits they wanted to achieve, whether it was running, baseball, raising chickens, growing jack-o’-lanterns, art, you name it.

I was told his funeral procession was one of the longest anyone in my hometown had ever seen.

It’s a lot to live up to.

I know he would have been tremendously proud of my academic accomplishments in high school, that was, until I slacked off my senior year and lost valedictorian status. He would have been happy to see I followed his footsteps by attending his alma mater of Ohio State University, which my mother also attended.

My dad initially went to college to become an engineer before switching his major to education. He would have been understanding that my initial pick of architecture didn’t work out. Granted, I think he would have preferred I stuck it out at Ohio State instead of changing my major three more times before leaving altogether. It sure would have been cool to realize I wanted to be a journalist a few years sooner, perhaps helping write for OSU’s student newspaper The Lantern or joining a fraternity.

My road to finding out what I wanted to do was much bumpier, for sure, but I eventually got there. I dabbled in online journalism for several years, gaining experience and becoming an expert in multiple subjects like mixed martial arts and the Cleveland Indians minor league system before I eventually got my first newspaper gig at The Daily Chief-Union and completely fell in love.

I’ve had to work through my own issues of self doubt, lack of motivation and more, but I kept grinding and I eventually rose from staff writer to being named city editor of the newspaper in November 2021. I’d like to think I’ve done a good job manning the helm of the news division ever since.

I may not have won any speech competitions, but I’m almost done with my first draft of my debut book. I didn’t inspire students to win state championships, but I won a few of my own in poultry judging and growing jack-o’-lanterns and I’ve lent my expertise to countless hours of podcasts and radio broadcasts covering a variety of topics from baseball to local sports to politics and more.

I don’t own a home just yet, but I’ve been on the market for a while now and I’m debt free. I just haven’t found the right fit. Perhaps that will happen when I find the right person to be with as well. It’s not too late to be a family man but if that doesn’t work out, I have five amazing nieces and nephews to spoil rotten.

My father casts a long and powerful shadow, but at the end of the day, I can look back at the life I’ve lived thus far and I think he’d be proud of my achievements. That doesn’t mean I should rest on my laurels. I have a long ways to go yet. If he were still here, my dad would be working diligently to help me to continue to improve myself in areas that still need work. I have no doubt about that.

And moving forward now that I’ve crossed that three weeks mark before my 39th birthday, I can perhaps life my life like my father would have wanted to live his.